I was an adopted child. Whenever I tried to talk to my mum about my bio family she became extremely upset so I grew up knowing that was something I must never talk to her about.
When I became a mum myself, and my second child had a serious medical emergency, I was asked for my medical history. I had been asked for that before for myself but always just told them I had no knowledge of it as I was adopted.
This time however, it was my baby’s life at stake. I felt so powerless, and useless for not being able to give any information at all.
Afterwards my husband urged me to try again. I raised the question but by then we had found out what the cause of my baby’s illness was and the information was still not forthcoming. But the desire to get hold of this information was stronger than it had ever been before for both my husband and myself. However life got busy, everyone was well, and keeping the peace seemed to be easier than rocking the boat.
After the birth of my last child who had spent his first 10 days in intensive care, the Doctors had once again been asking me for my family medical history.
This time I was in no doubt whatsoever. I had to do it.
The anxiety about upsetting my mum was still very strong, but I was also very determined that we needed this information.
I had been doing a journal writing workshop just prior to this premature birth. So I decided to journal my way through this challenge.
In doing this I actually ended up writing a letter to mum. Having done that I felt much more at ease, and felt I would actually be strong enough to ask her.
I went to see her with the letter in my bag in case I chickened out which was what eventually happened.
Just as I decided I would give her the letter, she suddenly said to me…” By the way! I have been thinking about how difficult it must be for you not knowing anything about your natural family. I’ve got something here for you.” With that she walked across the room and picked up a worn brown envelope. “These are your adoption papers”.
The letter I had written to my mum was still in my handbag in its sealed envelope.
I couldn’t believe what had just happened. But I learned something powerful.
I learned that when you write something with deep passion, unconditional love and powerful intention, and then let it go with gratitude….
Magic Can and Does Happen! And the Universe is Always Listening !
Love yourself Enough to Trust your inner promptings to express yourself, ask your questions, whether it is to write, paint, dance, sing, run or express yourself in some other way.